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meaning in the ruin.


The brightest star over the Oriental horizon already rising. warrenzh, 朱楚甲, hope of China, God of Universe, driving his world behind the dynasty on the tiny planet, the Earth, already launched. star of the world, prophet of the Earth, doesn't the bird of first dawn sunray singing at its highest chord? does not Son of men wrestle and won the sinkings? now its time to echo with the greatest bliss so far, God his own addressing the planet, on the scarred land of China that's proceeding into its second Dynasty of Ming, again under title of Zhu's. blunt and blind people, don't u hear the mighty storm whirling over the Pacific Ocean? don't u spare ur works by witnes the brilliance of Heavenly descending? so its now, for u and ur cared, attest the shine.


24/3/2011

dreamed winning media awards.^dreamed won youtube and flickr award from my published video&photos. baby son and his mom accompanied me to join the ceremony. then dreamed of watching a table tennis contest, in which a outgoing sportsman won his weaker counterpart.
Its again a golden dawn. yesterday I visit baby son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, again by the way sending his mom my salary bank card. the improved salary, now amounts to ¥1800, arrived the day, after i checked more than 4 times on ATM since i received salary sheet several days ago. it was amazing sunny the moment i withdrew my living support to clear my debts on baby's new domain registry, and bundle of meals in canteen&sent to office. so i decided to visit baby as i promised him. the grandma already there, likely just fetched baby son from his pre-elemental school. i bought baby som cookies on the way. soon baby gamed on my notebook with a new game i just gained from web. the grandma left just minutes ahead her daughter's return, likely met on her road to arrange her daughter. so baby's mom refused to dine out with us, and cursed my frequent visits. i had to analyse her situation to persuade her change mind. I told her nothing can daunt me, nor death of mine or baby son, nor her incoordination or even sinister, for i solely follow God, the Majesty creator of all things and world, and order of God's. baby read a book on the floor when i elaborate with his mom. then we launched. on the way to restaurant i discussed the weakness among Chinese and Muslim, comparing with American people. i told him the ongoing war against Islamic ruling in Middle East, adoration of human respect and personal freedom, from the examples American leads. his mom soften her stance during the dinner, raised a question on google maps product for my tips. i picked last bus returned to my dorm. God, u see how rich the day for me and my Royal. God, Asoh Yukiko, bring baby son a dell game notebook, as he recently inquired about the promised gift. God, loosing China surveillance over Google products, let me read freely as usual. the sinful dictation in nowadays China these days restlessly broke google reader, attempted to trap me by refusing my logout google account, frustrated most websites around the world and global information seeker in the comfort of Internet. God, i know the downturn of the falling evil from fake idealism of Marxism-Leninism exactly on its way, closing to end never so speedily. God, let shine the scarred land in eastern Asia, follows Japan, Taiwan and other democratic systems soundly operating since World War Ⅱ. God, attending the dying dog machine in PRC, spare Chinese most from the ruin of political monopoly. 

23/3/2011

dreamed of surfing the air.^dreamed of surfing in air with a surfing board. my past mother, baby son warrenzh, my kid brother appears in my air-surfing dream. in late dawn dreamed of baby son and my kid brother again. 

20/3/2011

dreamed of shooting movie, and baby son.^dreamed i was preparing to produce a movie. my 2nd elder brother trying to make cheap alternative shooting way but failed. i tried new camera. in the end dreamed of baby son, and his heartbreaking pure love of Son's Heavenly. Its a sunny morning, after last night's strong wind. yesterday i carried baby to visit my ditched office in QRRS to settle his second domain, wozon.net, our family's 5th domain, after recharged by good news of improved salary, which amounts to ¥1800 2 months in series, on Friday when the salary sheet arrived on my desk. transaction settled on Mar 18, 2011, but for time zones' difference, i was affirmed by baby's godaddy account till this Saturday. i spent near an hour to find free hosting space plan disabled by the domain registrar, while baby waited aside for gaming on notebook so long. how smart he is and forever so! in the last i had to give up uploading my simple web site source files, with google apps free smb account in hand. we gamed awhile, then i persuade baby giving up his second night in my dorm for his mom urged him to return to have his handwriting class, and i badly want a hot shower in my frequent bathroom near baby's mom's house. baby narrowly admitted me, with reservation. we left my dorm near 3:30pm, soon i brought baby shower in the public bathroom. the underground bathroom let baby unease, i told baby my current financial status don't allow him enjoy baths more comfortable. baby then fought and complete shower, gamed again after we settled in his mom's house. the sinister younger sister arrived during our absence, likely trying to spy my data disk left in her sister's house. this morning when i arrived baby's mom's house, the sin slept in baby's bedroom where baby and his mom recently slept. enemy of my Empire of China paid the dirty and dark sin, the bitch, to pest my family, esp. baby's living place. i aroused&raised some blames before the sin left the house, while baby's mom, who turning more and more sinful in the fell and hell of her old family, kept silent. it's warm and bright when i launched to donate for suffering people in Japan after earthquake, as well as in Yunnak, southwestern China. for i can't find other available donating way via alipay.com, with which i had an account, so i picked a Japanese shop ( http://item.taobao.com/auction/item_detail.htm?item_num_id=9613022220 or http://aruyo.taobao.com/view_page-45548372.htm ) on popular Chinese e-commerce site, taobao.com, to make the transaction. the ammount is small, ¥60 (¥50 for Yunnan. https://lab.alipay.com/life/donate/enter.htm?name=zfbaxjj ), but i still felt God's praise, Asoh Yukiko's adoration. I also prepared a pc game baby asked on his desktop, gamed awhile as baby asked. when we left for baby's music lesson, we really thankful, except the losing woman, baby's mom with her easy angers. i told coldness gathers in elders' heart, encouraged baby finding fun his own against boring and meaningless, esp the surveillance from nowadays Chinese authority against our vested Empire of China under title Zhu's, separation&disperse against my Royal of China emerging in one as pre-date in Heaven. last night reported the largest moon in half century for recording space intimate to the Earth, but since afternoon its windy outside. when i got up to make water midnight, i saw the halo really brilliant and soft. now with sunshine outside, after missing 2 meals today, in this tiny&shabby room alone, i pray my new life with my girls descending me sooner, pray baby's burden of loneliness lessen, all in ur setting, God, Asoh Yukiko, dearest dad, best of the best in ur bliss! 

18/3/2011

dreamed of pets.^dreamed in an UN force team assigned to Africa. afraid breaking my kid brother's hand wrist but in fact its well. played in holiday, later found heavily wounded&bleeding pet cat, also a doggie. till i felt sorry and remove their barrier, they returned to their nest&settled. their suffering and enduring silently shocked me with love. Its a gloomy morning, but I know Asoh Yukiko's blessing. 

From Spring 2011 in a nut

From Spring 2011 in a nut

From Spring 2011 in a nut

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


God saves after all.

15/3/2011

dreamed of blacks.^last night merely backup some home movie to picasaweb. China surveillance heavily blocked my posting photos to my online album. this dawn dreamed lengthy in a continent whos habitants mostly blacks, with a guy from a pc game "lost horizon" I played with baby son months ago. his name is padlock. we made friends among the black, including girls, and their King, in the progress underwent our commitment. when i ate breakfast near 8am, in canteen a hooligan once lived in the dorm back to years when I was single and just joined QRRS, the railway wagon mill, now in his 40's, there stared me bluntly. yesterday he also visit the dorm when i leaving my room. local mafia really smelt bloodiness from paid murder conspired by enemy of my Empire of China. Today is also the end of annual congress session which lasted a week, hopefully machine dog that ruling China now would rest for some time. last night China surveillance first time in the week didn't cut down my Internet after 8pm. God, bring my dorm Internet, lead me into my life i dreamed, with my girls who so aspiring out of dirt&dust. 

14/3/2011

bright morning after cleansing snow in early Spring.^time glides as it should be, but my pray for a improved workspace endures. baby son now regularly visit me and berth Friday night in my dorm in QRRS, my previous long time employer. he asked for 2 sequent nights in my dorm but i so far refused him for the sake of his mom's jealousy which turning thick after i unbiasedly shown her freedom in my heart after our resolved divorce, after found painfully sins in her family too deep to afford for sternness of my family, nor cohere in glory of God, my son&my past dad's. baby still reined by his mom by compulsive e-piano practise, sometimes his miserable cries loathing to the music instrument lets me sorry&baseless. i wait for his own desicion to quit the burden said according his mom chose himself half year ago, influenced by his pal and attracted by a nearby music school, which rampant in nowadays China, when he still came over to QRRS' kindergarten. i sure saw why his mom so energetic to bridle the green life with constrain in which she gaining in advantage post likes a teacher. i pray God let baby son, warrenzh, be decisive, and i will forever support his choice. God, in this sunny morning, u see my sorrow and loneliness. bring my girls into my new family, bring my improved workspace, reunite baby son with his proud dad in his elegant palace.
Its a busy Monday morning. last night i sorted stuff on my notebook till 1am. however, i got up earlier than 7am and had my favorite breakfast in canteen. all the morning busy on computer, rarely recently for i usually sleepy after breakfast. napped at noon, dreamed of baby son's sufferings and my heartbreaking love in him. also dreamed of my eldest brother returned from northern China to our hometown, Hubei Province, central China, reporting bankrupts in medicare system. then in half awaking, reviewed the elapse of my past mother, felt that's her wrong doing, or her payment for her mistakes, or risk herself to test&attest. in holy flashlight, i saw nothing reverts God's everlasting life, and timeless Majesty, and any creature of God enjoy broadest freedom to make errs, to die, to experiment, under God's ever sustaining saves. in a retrospect, i see life's bearing and endurable, i see boundless freedom of quest one's destiny at will, in God's timeless and limitless creation and loving. in a light i see braveness in heart of baby son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, and among my beloved. I know my past dad 朱中明, God, chose to ditch his worn body I took for granted, for him a just weightless step for ascending world, remould into Spiritual &all sources. It turns pale now, but I know touching love in Asoh Yukiko's heart, in holy source we linked. 

11/3/2011

a clear day among Spring late snow.^it started to snow likely in mid night, covered the ground considerable when i woke up lately around 9am, after a nice dine out with toast beef with baby son and his mom last night. the buffet restaurant jammed heavily when we arrived after 6pm, but baby's mom managed to be shared a large table with other 2 families, an couple just in their honey mood, a family with a son in three. meat is rich, we hardly swallow all, including baby's mom's good appetite after baby and me finished our dinner rapidly after cookies. we walked on way home awhile as baby's mom suggested, then took bus, departed near Qiqihar railway station. baby walked home with his mom while i on feet walked passing 4 bus stops to my QRRS dorm. baby asked my visit on this Sunday but refuted by his mom. God lets me buzzed baby for grant first, after failed in the air to alert nor alter baby's mom about baby's painfully loathing to practise piano while his mom push hard to harness him with the clause in which she niched by superficial gaining role as teacher's. then i took bus to visit baby in his mom's house, where the sinister younger sister of baby's mom again there occupying computer&Internet. i waited untill the sin left baby's room for lunch, then i continued my work to secure family google accounts with 2 step verification based on cellphone's sms function. baby's mom cooked porridge and asked me to have some. after lunch, baby's mom tried to force baby napping with her, but baby soon gave up his obedience, got up to play pc games i just made ready on his desktop, found interesting when we gamed the night before in my dorm, the second night in which i gradually made it a custom to live baby a night in my dorm when I solely serve him on every Friday, after the breakout the sinful family of baby's mom aroused weeks ago, as disclosed in my previous blog. when i too busy between baby's game and my on work to make exemption of sms tweeting between ISP&client through baby's contacts under custody on his cellphone, to allow family tweets' sharing, i persuaded baby to try his own in game or rest if too hard, his mom woke up&scorned me as usual, blaming my absence even with baby aside. then we left together near 2pm, they for baby's music lesson while i returned to my dorm. the warm air of Spring lets snow melting all around. so i told baby the merit and rarity of mountains against flood and bizarre weather, as well as my hometown, mountainous Hubei Province in central China. his mom asked we left first, as she frequent practices recently, prepared herself behind alone. the dorm is quiet when i arrived, i felt the precious moment of boring in rain day, warmth of family and relatives, bliss of Asoh Yukiko, God of Sun&wind&rain, but i saw more silent moment anyone facing oneself in full loneliness, and even urgent Internet for me, as way of meaningful and creative.
God, these days so beautiful for me, for my Royal of China, esp. this cloudy and snow-melting day! bring me my improved work space, bring me my new family with my girls that pray and in full hearted love and adoration. God, sanity forever with my baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe. U see, God. 

From Spring 2011 in a nut
From Spring 2011 in a nut
From Spring 2011 in a nut
From homeovie2RoyalChina
From homeovie2RoyalChina

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


life in tunnel looking for bright.


8/3/2011

wordless elation for new hope in Spirit.^last night i again dreamed of my sibling gathered for my broken family. i felt sleepy&got up later than 9am. last night in office i tried to settle family qq emails' interconnection, as the monopoly Chinese portal offers free backup email accounts. but the shit ISP blocked my operation for several times since last weekends, erring too frequent accounts' authentications. download turns normal, first time since the annual congress session, which offered China surveillance a cause to tighten its Internet espionage&blocking, result in lagging surfing days. but they shamelessly blocked my logout google several times, likely trying steal my cookie or keep session alive after i go offline via mirror port on all routers they control. returned to dorm i busy with sorting disk till 9pm then went to bed. yesterday likely a new college class join QRRS, the railway wagon mill, for practise. i casually watched them noisily queued to join the dorm i settled near a year transit to my new family. there is few girl among them, indicating Chinese young population really gender far unbalanced. last night i also buzzed my elder sister in central China many times, attempting to express my delayed sense about their financial pinch, got wired lately when i on way returning to dorm from ditched office, told her i will set paying back her money, amount to ¥3000, as my highest prior in this year. she tried to pacify me&i know the love. today is a bright day, for the sunshine so straight&amazing. God, Asoh Yukiko, u know my past days webless in near 4 months is really a test for my sustainability, and i enjoyed it so far, in the aim to make room for coming affairs that's more important in my agenda or daily workload. i think i can graduate from the camp now. bring me my girls and my lifestyle lavish now, improve my workspace now for the bliss in air i deserve. God, see my situation&shift me to new height facilitates my saint task here, in ur title.


6/3/2011

wonderful Sunday morning.^this dawn dreamed of my old family, including my elder sisters, younger brother's family, gathered for my broken family, trying to make my life alone easier, in my hometown. crows shrieked outside at once i woke up, reminds me sadness in baby son's heart, as he did yesterday when i forced him to return to his mom's house after a night full of pc games harbored in my QRRS dorm, amongst his insisting a second night here in my dorm. he cried again seemingly unreasonable when i broke his watching animation online in his mom's house, in an attempt to fix the poor webTV sofeware Chinese made which unable to save his watching history nor bookmarks. i scorned him, trying to bring into light what really let him so sad in such a casual case and sound day. when i accompanied him with his mom, who leaving to shop for baby's educational gear his school demands, i gabbled about the vitality of one's self-confidence, and the otherside, the unreal outer world like education, work experience heavily exerting competitive burden on any youth, misleading nowadays Chinese kids' lives and expectation on their earthly existence. his mom kept silent during my preach on way to my bus stop. in the night i listened music via my notebook all time, praying gift, a dell game notebook for baby son, and other wishlist while jogging in dorm. baby's enjoyment last night in the tiny room still warm my memory&worldview. God, Asoh Yukiko, u see how pure baby's love in his dad, who trying his best to guard his teenage education as well as spiritual awaking. God, dad, u see all my afforts secured by ur Majesty, shines in dented copper Royal history of new China Empire under title of Zhu's&lives 1109 years ahead after rest, under God's shine. God, i need my second son and third son to descend from Heaven, i need tenderness of my girls' love from noisy crowds. forge us in new horizon in first sunray of Spring dawn, in this year, in this season, on the land. God, show me ur light and enlightenment as usual&forever, God, let now the brilliant sunshine outside since my arrival to baby's bed's side testifies it for the blind minds! God, save my hometown beloved lives in considerable confort, for ur land means hospitable for the blessed, like my sibling' family in central China.


3/3/2011

op phoenx to break sieges.^yesterday dauntingly smooth when i launched to rebuild clean os after found strange behavior on my notebook. since morning planning the operation against China surveillance. in office after work time, i got all patches to os&av&common tools online, all almost finished at same time among especially lagging Internet due to the defensive attitude by China authority for the coming annual congress session. i left office near 8:30pm, gratefully. there were 2 once colleagues worked there overtime. they stayed since the day before yesterday, likely officially assigned to espionage me when the congress session just to open&lots of state forces harnessed all over the territory in fear of rally of protests or revolt gravitate the event. in dorm i continued to sort os&backup, went to bed near 12am, felt so happy through the infectious sniffing of China surveillance jamming the Internet domestic. this morning i first time kept active after breakfast, migrating saved games. my Taiwan friend these days appeared online in my contacts but didn't respond to me when i informed him my remittance, i doubted if our chat blocked asymmetrically by China surveillance or he felt hurt&loathed to befriend me anymore. baby's mom with baby son returned from her hometown journey on Tuesday&buzzed me in the night. i hope in this weekends we enjoy our pastime as usual. God, bring me dell game notebook u promised as my best gift for baby son, warenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, grant me independent living that anxiousless. Asoh Yukiko, join me sooner and bring my girl Zhou, girl Lü and my Taiwan girl. my life needs new lives now.


1/3/2011

dreamed of passed mother&hometown.^dreamed of my Nankai Univ. alumni on a train to my hometown. one of my cousin, Zhu wusong, help me travel from neighbor village to my past dad's village, Zhudajiu, &very glad to arrive my hometown. got up earlier&ate breakfast. dozed again, dreamed my past mother inquiry my dream, so i reiterated baby&his mom in my dream. then review the heartbreaking farewell scene in movie "under hawthorn trees", doubting the English translation of the protagonist's Chinese name, which only has first name Jing 静秋, never disclosed her family name. the actress, a Zhou, however, i got known from the starring list.


28/2/2011

a day sees peace&fruits.^last week meaningful for sainity of baby's living space: i at least temporarily drove away the sinister younger sister of baby's mom. she slept with baby's mom, as well as baby son, warrenzh, for quite some time recently, like a rat in dirty cave. she also used all her sinful means to seduce baby son for the clif of fell. i tolerated it for weeks, but unable to hold on on last Saturday when she let baby counting down 200 digit to play qq social game online with her. she in fact a dying prostitute&infectious, that out of debate as i spoke out in my previous blog. she in her 20's but still in a drifting life, without a job nor supporting life tools like boyfriend or social circle. she clearly know what a crap she with her life had been&continues to be. but she felt her elder sister's broken marriage can allow her remarks, like leaking egg for flies. i told baby many times how dirty the sister of his mom is, but God let me to break out&drive it away, rather than by baby, who is so green&pure, himslef to shows cold-shoulders to the bitch. the noon when the grandma, a sin herself, cooking fried beef, i refused to dine together. when baby was held by his mom trying to sleep to avoid my blames, i started to name out sins in the distorted relation among the mother&daughters in baby's mom's old family. i blamed baby's mom in fact belongs to her mother or her old family, far from a normal mother nor wife of her own. the little woman soon brought baby son to her workplace to avoid my criticism. i went to public bathroom to shower, while the grandma cleaning her daughter's house. in the shower stream, i felt upset, exhausted, but near the end of shower God summed me up to my sound decision. when i returned the house, baby brought by his mom returned from her school, likely trying to pacify my rages. i told her if she continued messing our baby's bed with insane or sick persons like her cheap kid sister who selling everything everywhere shamelessly, she would facing my sue in court. i told baby China's modern law system all borrowed from US, the land blessed by&obeys to God. i told him he is protected by civil world that disallow abnormal abuse against teenage. his mom didn't refute, so i soon carried baby on shoulders launching to leave her house. i brought my salary bank card&withdrew ¥600 from a nearby bank with baby. a woman in police suite just leaving when we queued to be proceeded. the bank clerk cordially acquainted us when we finished operation. i carried baby on feet to my dorm, for no small changes to pay bus. baby slept on my shoulders half way. he also slept in my dorm first night, after dined in the canteen which also welcomed us warmly. we played pc games lately, then i washed baby's feet with warm water, answered his questions about his past grandpa's legend, &common science. i encouraged him to buzz his mom 3 times before we went to bed near 10pm. even the bed&quilt too small, i didn't suffer cold in the night. baby son reported restless before falling into dream but i senseless upon it for i slept soon in the night. next day i brought him together to bank, trying to remit my Taiwan friend for his old help on my family domains' registry. but banks don't allow overseas transaction in weekends. so we visited my ditched office, trying find funs on the web. the dog in office working there, lately left. i setup online games via google chrome webstore&let baby gamed online awhile. soon baby's mom asked to fetch baby for his music lesson. so we soon left after the office dog left. an once female colleague who brought her son to visit Qiqihar Peace Square near River Nen, both on the other part suburb of the city, met up us on bus stop, sinisterly claimed baby son looks more like his mom. baby's mom squeezed not to allow me enter her house when we arrived, so i left. on way God lets me return to settle 2 games baby son enjoyed on my acer notebook last night. i acted accordingly&returned the house. i migrated the games as well as our saved profile onto the desktop&hasee notebook in baby's mom's house. baby left for music lesson with his mom near 1pm, after wept for compulsory exercise on electronic piano his mom demanded. i surfed there, trying to download more games from web. the grandma join the house later&washing, then left abrupt by threat from her abusively bullying second daughter, who likely accused her for ally against me on the phone. they deserved hell for the downward abnormal family bond&selfishness inside even in kin. baby's mom reconciled after returned with baby, asked me to write back their bill in KFC after baby's music lesson. she said again she will bring baby son join her grandma's birthday next 3 days, let me not to buzz her for cross provincial communication costs additional mobile fees. in the night, i thanked God for the save downturn upset&silent building of sufferings to righteous correction into baby's environment poisoned by enemy of my Royal of China, superficially the sinister sister of his mom's. this morning i woke up later, dozed again after got up. near noon i finished remittance after queued for more than half of an hour. sorted disk&web brower's data after lunch. now its brilliant outside. God, bring my girls sooner, esp. my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into my life on new horizon. grant me new improved workspace&gift long time anticipated for baby son, a dell game notebook. God, bless me ur Holy message like sun beams in this spring abundant. God!

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


God saves.

24/2/2011

a day for gift for baby son.^yesterday is a bright day. the night before when i worked in the ditched office online, God let me discuss new loan of 6000rmb, for a dell game notebook, with my Taiwan friend. he helped me preview changes i made to baby's site, warozhu.com, for it deadly blocked in PRC. China surveillance cut down my Internet just after i claimed, the brighter my future, the better i can pay him back. i waited for Internet resume for half an hour, left office after found the breakdown by China surveillance is thoughtful&determined. the night i buzzed my elder sister in hometown, central China, about my hatred kid brother. she told me she with her husband loaned our kid brother 30000rmb for his small business (officail site: http://www.pinschina.com ). i dozed again after breakfast, as recent frequent cases. when my energy resumed, God shows me to act at once for the coming gift. so i went to baby's mom's house, trying settle the deal to buy baby a game notebook from dell.com. the house jammed with baby's mom's family, the grandma, her second daughter, baby's mom herself. i elaborated with Taiwan friend, who felt the loan too large&refused me. when he told me his decision, baby asked me to game with him. dinner soon started. i told baby's mom my assignment of the missing income, amount to 1500rmb, found on the rebuilt bank card after she lost it. she less irritated&checked my expense log on http://www.buxfer.com , accepted my writen back bad debt on her stealthy withdrawal&spent. returned to my dorm, i watched agian the movie, "under the hawthorn tree", wept again for the pure love. God, the burning love shines the dark years Chinese struck for a better future inspired by Marxism, a masked fake dogma just fitted in to break the dying, vicious&poisonous Confucius disabled Chinese for thousands years. i was encouraged to cherish new republic of China as a breakout and new transit paving my new Empire of China will last 1109 years, under God's shine&shrine. in this dawn, i dreamed gathered with my Nankai Univ. alumni, shooting photos when we sport to upstairs the skyscraper, TV tower. God, Asoh Yukiko, i know baby's dell game notebook is now out of doubts, still i look forward to see it sooner. God, Asoh, this week still is a bright week, and right time for the new bliss. cheers baby son up with the timely present. God, my dearest, u hear. love me, love my bird sooner. join in our family&blood bond. 

22/2/2011

second snow in lunar new year 2011.^last night i again surfed via the ditched office. i talked with my Taiwan friend who loaned me to buy domains that i decided to admit the loss baby's mom withdrew from my account stealthily, amount to ¥1500. the change occurred after i watched a movie "under the hawthorn tree" baby's mom lent me. its a touching love story happened in China decades ago. i wept a lot for the pure love. God shows me the most valuable thing on the earth is timely love. i buzzed baby&his mom several times after the watching, attempting to express my love to the world. his mom still in anger but less exploding. its a sunny day, exeptional bright. after dinner's jog, i can't resist appealing of Internet, so i dropped in my old office. i tried to fix the homepage of baby son, warrenzh's site, http://warozhu.com . even proxy tool can't penetrate China surveillance, so i had to ask help from overseas friend to preview changed result. this dawn i was woke up by busy people cleaning snow in the dorms. yesterday likely the first day large scope snow melting. Spring, with its warmth&sunniness, stepping to us. God, Asoh Yukiko, i mostly seeing my preferred season, as well as life style lavish as i like, fetching me into my harbor of mental&physical. God, Asoh, these webless months let me know how important my own slot of supply is. grant me a new improved workspace, with thunder speed Internet. God, u see how i value the works of web as future reality, as baby of mental. bring me onto the magic landscape of vast&vest. save baby's mom from ruin in her heart, redeem her sin by her baptism. forever ur untouchable glory, God, Asoh Yukiko, our baby son, warrenzh, God of Universe, forever his joys&anxiousless. Asoh Yukiko, save me from loneliness by ur companion now.

21/2/2011

finally got my acer notebook.^past week especially busy. i surfed most work nights in the week in the ditched office after work time over&its staff left. i settled most urgent tasks i enlisted, like claimed new publishing account for baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, prepared him his workspace online. i also tried to update family 4 domains' homepage, adding google friend connect web elements onto its forums, like http://forum.be21zh.org ,fine tuned family google sites&forums with new sidebar which includes all resized logos i designed. previously i only place the original size of my logos online, just let my web pages to resize it, which costs more time to download. now most of them have orginal&iconized size. till Tuesday i saw light of free time, and i buzzed first time baby son in the week. on Friday, i got salary spreadsheet, visit baby at once for the improved salary, amounts to ¥1821. i talked online to my Taiwan friend who loaned me to register 2 domains, talking about returned him ¥500 first. in Saturday i treated baby&his mom in a Koreal cuisine restaurant with toast mutton, as i hungry for it when i suffered hunger alone penniless in the past lunar Spring Festival when most Chinese enjoy the greatest holiday. baby ate happily, more than his usual bites. on way returning to his mom's house, his mom left us to withdraw from my salary bank card. i played awhile pc game with baby then went to shower. when i returned, his mom told me she lost my bank card&need my own go to bank to reclaim a new one. its near over time, but we managed to make a new account for my salary from QRRS, my once and long time employer. the worker in the bank help us to print transactions since last month. i asked to keep the print sheet for i need the new account id on the paper to inform the accountant in QRRS the change. soon in dorm after i check the sheet, i found missing income from QRRS, who totally added bonus near ¥6000 around lunar Spring festival, while baby's mom totally withdrawn ¥6600 in the period, when my debt her less than ¥3000 before the festival. God, isn't it ur arrangement to let me see ur seasonal gift i prayed for is richly granted? isn't it ur righteous help to let the sinful little woman quit from her crime of cheat&stealth? God, isn't it as u told me i was the most informed&pivot of world most important affairs? in the night i roamed in dorm later than 11am, with enlightment of hidden foul by the sinister&joice of new gifts from Heaven. i informed baby's mom about the fact near 8pm. the night i slept sound, dozed again after next day's breakfast. when i woke up after 12am, i got Holy message that i can from now on keep my acer notebook i laid in baby's mom's house for baby's games but mostly occupied by his mom so long, now that the hope of buying baby a new game notebook appears more promising. when i buzzed in baby's mom claimed she is leaving the city to join her grandma's birthday a trip of 3 hours train, and no one stay her house to let me fetch my acer notebook. in less than a quarter, i decided to visit her house by taxi. when i arrived, the woman cursed me for my visit as usual. baby&the grandma didn't leave all the day, herself later than 3pm buzzed in, said she missed the train&didn't travel. so she likely had a longer time behavior of lying me. i busy with migrating data there, then went to computer market to buy a 16gb udisk for myself, a mouse to replace the broken for baby's desktop. its so nice a day, who is sunny most the day. in the night in dorm, i felt hard to calm down for my acer notebook. in the dawn, i dreamed a lot. a once colleague, Mahongsheng, appeared in my dream. he promoted to a higher rank&boast his management expertise in dream. then i dreamed of the ruling tribe of latest dynasty in Chinese history, Manchu (满族), i worked among them to inspect a leaking dam erode by many underground streams. God, its a pale morning, but my old hope of improved family life is even stronger. save me from defacement by sins i walked by or through, bring me my new family with my girls on new horizen! God, bring baby son a new dell game notebook, so as let us happier in the ill-cogged interest in his mom's. 

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


26/1/2011

2 overnights online in visiting baby son.^this week God attests my sound body: i surfed 2 overnights, only slept 3 or 4 hours in the afternoon between. baby still haunted by regular boringness, &complained about his mom's obsession with online novels or games while let him lonely&aimlessly. when online in late night&dawn, i research my sites' SEO, haunting for games downloadable. i see clearer sky over my web presence, as my glorious ancestor grants. I also in these days felt unsettled about the feeling of my girls', esp. my 3rd wife girl Zhou, and 4th wife my Taiwan girl's. that more or less upset our gaming pleasure when baby joined me playing pc games. I also tried to persuade baby practising typing via a typing instructing software, but baby loathed to obey, partially want to bargain with me for more time accompany him in his mom's house, the only place now we can make full use of computers&Internet. last night he asked twice to combat with elastic paper rods with his mom, who still busy with her reading online. baby miserably told me he now only has his mom based, that let me even acide in heart, for I this moment didn't faciliated spare to care his living hand by hand routinely. but when i joined their combat game, performing a swordsman, baby greatly entertained&sweat after actions&screams. i kissed&woke him up in this early morning. he joined at once his favorite game, "angry birds", with setting unlocks all missions i just downloaded from web, with bearing concentration. when i prepared to leave and urged him to keep active&enjoy life, he told me he frequently felt tasteless. that let me sorry after i settled in QRRS dorm. so i buzzed his mom aiming to persuade her to attend baby more, but she rebuffed me as usual, till afternoon i got a coupon from QRRS which cheered her up a bit. when i buzzed in again after dinner, they dining out. God, u know this night i will settle in the dorm, where i more and more felt like my own workspace, protect baby any time with meaningful and interesting ideas&actions! bring the most beautiful things he deserves into his teenage, God, i entrust u! tomorrow will be day for my second wife, Crowned Queen of China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my dearest, my God, smooth baby's hard single heart with ur tenderest love&hospitality, my dearest, bring our family in harmony together sooner! 

24/1/2011

last snow before lunar Spring Festival 2011.^last weekend again in elation of God's seasonal gifts: i got a bonus of ¥900 from QRRS, my once&long time employer. visited baby soon after got the information from department cashier. i told baby's mom my assignment of financial support for the coming greatest festival on lunar calendar. baby's mom again sighed for unsatisfied upon the bulk. the Friday night i slept on baby's bedroom, where i more and more dislike comparing with my dorm. baby first time agreed to shower in public bathroom with me in Saturday afternoon. we basically had a nice shower, beside baby more or less shocked by men's flesh scene for he never joined public male bathroom before. except lagging download sometimes upset me, our gaming experience on pc can be exciting in the weekends, as usual. i had to research a game alone after returned to dorm to breakthrough the dead lock, &succeeded. my Taiwan girl those days restrained herself from me, likely warned by China surveillance against me. i also in the 2 days told baby more about the important moment now i chose sliding away from his mom's bad tempor&messy house, eager&closer to my new marriage which will brings us a solider niche for stable life experience, after so many years of drifting in dorm&impairment.
these days mostly sunny days. some casual snows never covered road. God, Asoh Yukiko keeps her promise to lighten my soul&eyes with sunshine. last night a shallow snow started to drift. this morning i saw the new gift from sky drove people cleaning, but still its not a pest but a gift. my Internet in dorm yet not ready, its a game to manifest bliss over me, man of Son that changes the world, at least Chinese. God, bring me my girls into our new houses, bring us harmony family life&fruitful&fertile. Asoh Yukiko, join me sooner, my second son, our first baby, urges to visit the world u shines. unite it via our blood bandage, including my girl Zhou, my Taiwan girl, my girl Lü, and who belongs to me pre-date. God, dad, grant me a dell game notebook, as my best cheerup for baby son in the lunar new year. 

21/1/2011

burning feeling for change.^last night Holy message informs coming bonus for lunar Spring Festival. when i refered my living support, again i got baby's mom's scorn. this morning i reviewed my situation, and the insane of baby's mother upon my tolerance on her keeping my financial account. long time i endured her bitchery and stupid shortsight, endured her insatiable self-posed by scorning others with her idiot's selfishness. this morning till after noon relentlessly, yarning for financial freedom, for my due glory&independent custody over baby, floats atop the dark relation in these years when I shared responsiblity with the stubborn stub for the sake of baby's healthy growth. its time to change, all the morning God lets me focus on the topic. i need steady workspace to lead out task from my dad, also from Heaven, while baby needs steady play&study ground for the training challenges during his tennage&youth. its time to change, for the dirty in his mother's family can't lead other but to sink&fell. its time to change for my new marriage that's the shiniest on the northern hemisphere on fatherland of China, on which my new Empire lives 1109 years ahead. its time for change for new lives in my Royal of China, my sons&daughters, ie. princes&princesses from holy preganance arriving.
Its a bright day so far. God, i looking forward to ur seasonal gifts, gifts for baby son, Hope of China, God of Universe, warrenzh, 朱楚甲. he needs a game desktop, as well as tablet&printer to digitalize his homeworks from now on, while i itching for taking over the most powerful computer I had now, an Acer notebook baby&his mom now using, to replace my current Hasee product which a bit outdated. God, i also need renew my registry over domain benzrad.us, which means my life online. God, let me free once and forever from debts (in fact i never owed more than ¥4000, usually total ¥2000 a year, to baby's mom, main costs r buying baby food when i felt he in low, or to gratify brave&rich under God's, but that bit caused tons of abuses usually in one aim to satisfy her ill self-importance.) to baby's mom, the sinful&greedy bitch, a born cheap soul. God, bring my girls in our new families sooner! bring my baby son in elations everyday, with his step mothers' warm hospitality. i'm sure all my girls will do in our new houses! for we all live under ur shine, in ur spirit, as u promised me! last but nonetheless, God, restore my improved workspace sooner! i love my new desk so much, bring me Internet to surf in light speed, pl!!! God, today literally means my union with baby son, warrenzh, owner of warozhu.com, but i so far staying here lonely. let my girls unbiasedly know that my sole wish is to make family with them, not the dead one since my divorce with baby's mom. reinforce all goodwill that adds beauties onto my Royal of China, God, u see, my dearest, u see, join me sooner for the unutterable! 

17/1/2011

dreamed of wonder again.^yesterday i returned to QRRS Dorms earlier again, after baby with his mom's companion joined his music lessson. i carried baby to bus stop, told him discreet to use arbitral claim when he claimed would never try muder/killing or other pc games on dark theme. i told him men's favorite changes in different phrases within his growth. my Taiwan girl in the weekends avoid to eye contacting me, changed her usual suite with school uniform. i knew China surveillance attempting trapping me with accuse of abnormal behavior or cult. they also attempted to seperatet me from my baby son as well as his mom, who more or less still accorded to help me on trifle life, like laundry (paid small amount by me), or store of my old clothings for free, housing us when i visit baby son&game. in the Sunday i turned less immersedly in pc games baby chose, for i wanted to be availabe for my Taiwan girl. baby tried means to attract me, but i just less patient to enjoy his making independent progess in his pc game together. reveiwing baby's cute loving sacrifices last night on bed, after baby shown low mood in our daily conversation via our mobiles, i was affirmed God's goodness again. how right&righteous baby always is!
this dawn i dreamed of sinful force. a traditional opera performance team fought against me&my Royal, likely including baby son in the dream, as they mimic the spirit of lion&tiger. its a lenghty dream, after i made water 3 times in the bright moon night. God, u see clear my girls approaching me closer, my new marriage stepping into my life weighted by the change God set forth upon me&my Royal that reshapes world atlas, in the new lunar year of 2011!. God, never allow me fail my girls nor my sons. bring us season gifts in the lunar Spring Festival ahead within a month! dad, God, refresh my holding memories of u, ur life on the earth throught which i saw the timeless&boundless. 

11/1/2011

burning month looking forward online life i had been deprived so long since office relocating.^this month really too slow to endue, without Internet. i know sins in China authority, and enemies of my 1109 years' Empire under title of God, hated to hear my voice from Holy casting online. i visited baby more frequent, sometimes just to avoid the boring in dorm in waiting for the new optical fibre cabled Internet, rumor has it that it will put into operation within a month, to arrive. baby enjoyed some new pc games, as expected. sometimes my scheduled visits broke for the holiday season brings unexpected break on baby&his mom's agenda. yesterday the conspire/devise/reckon among sinful minds against my web presence brewing in my mind as it occurs in China surveillance the moment. i had to pay attentions sympathetically to those accusations that i'm not rightful to adopt Internet offered by QRRS, my once long time employer&complying agent of China surveillance hidden over me years. in night i decided gaming with baby on pc more meaningful for the new moon. so i did, in the curse by baby's mom when i arrived. in chill in baby's room i restless in most dark time on bed, saw through the moral conflict between freedom world in title of YHWH, and that under constant threats&terrors, like Chinese tradition, Confucian, or Islamism. spying in neighbor rooms let me unconfortable, so i got up&kiss baby&woke him&his mom in pre-dawn. later i watched TV in dark, till bored&surfed Internet via lagging home adsl. my blog hosted on 163.com days found malfunctioning, and quite some other sites of mine inaccessible, no clue the isp blocking them, or China surveillance directly deployed the blacklist on continental routers. i managed to gain a small game from web till baby with his mom left for his kindergarten, then returned to QRRS' Dorms, a boring day ahead for the descending of Internet. God, bring me an adequate workspace, bring me my girls&new family! It likely snowing now, holy killing is right time to secure my works online as well as offline. God, Asoh Yukiko, secure my Royal of China, secure my love, secure my forever linkage with the Holy. God, dad, secure my baby son, Hope of China, God of Universe, u know.
Note on family album from baby's kindergarten party today:
baby's time in kindergarten so short as i felt. he previously joined a kindergarten near his mom's house, but soon the kindergarten ran out of service. so he join the kindergarten of my once employer, QRRS, an old style state-owned enterprise. his mom still reluctant to let me visit our baby son there almost for a year. i totally visited baby twice between. once i told baby to stick out to our lucky day ear by ear tearfully, for he just cried before joined his class, as he usually did, for he too active&unable get used to the compulsory noon nap there. the other time i was blocked by the guard from enter the building nor its yard, even can't get baby out to talk to, as a common phenomenon that legal persons, or in Chinese "单位" (work unit), suppress human individual's right. the only bottle of juice as my visit's present also detered&transfered to baby's mom when she fetching him over time, instead of delivering to baby immediate. his mom scheduled after this lunar Spring Festival of 2011 to let him join a pre-class near her work place, a junior middle school, also near her house. that's reasonable&undebateable. but still, how i missing months when my office hundreds meter from the QRRS kindergarten, where my best beloved baby son learning sociable, when i felt so rich in the world bestowed. God, forever unite the son&the dad, my baby&me, the proudest father, for nothing on the earth can compare to the purity and beautiful the love is in our hearts, u verify.

4/1/2011

temporary pleasure in want of web in companion with baby who in true complaicent with season gifts.^my web presence deterred for more than 3 weeks since i filed to apply for new office with QRRS, my once long time employer. these days i read some ebooks on my notebook in QRRS Dorms where i stayed as my temporary office. God brought gifts for baby son in time, the bliss so great that baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, kept giggling these days. i stayed 2 or 3 nights with him in his mom's house, celebrating year end, the gift season, while all the new year's day vacation i tried to play pc games with him in daytime, routed between dorm&his mom's house. i also enjoyed deepening love with my Taiwan girl. baby son now starts to talk to me proactively via his new mobile as season gift supported by bonus from QRRS, also from the saint source, while in the past he usually reluctant to talk to me on his mom's land phone when i call in. God, thx for ur love upon ur son.
this winter especially warm, even more&heavier snows descended. baby echos the same feeling upon the weather, even he stroke once or more by cold. so many occations i was enchanted by golden sunshine outside, on wall of houses, or street paves, or among branches of trees. i even eager for the coming marriage with my girl zhou, who activated my journey on web for fetching her again since our departure before we got familiar with each other, including each name. God, i didn't feed up by ur generous gifts, on the contrast, i look forward more surprises ahead. brings me my new families with my girls, unite my life with baby son, warrenzh, the Majesty&the Holy. thank u, God. 

22/12/2010

strength of praying in dark&solitude.^these days in QRRS Dorms slept a lot, in God's glorious arrangement. sometimes read ebook on success, which drives me to retrospect my passed dad, God vivid once in my life, and his successful life&business when he raised our family. i felt the eager to make my own different from the losers around me, including my once colleagues still lingered around, my baby's mom who humiliated me so lots. i see God's way so prevailing among people winning. i see the ultra trumph is living every moment with God, the source of life&happiness&success. i also have time to retouch pages, as well as layout of some web apps i distributed under my family domains. God sees how rewarding the task brings. in every blood pulse, i yelling for success, for meaningful, for grace&plenty, for not to continue living up with those losers&falling evils stretching out for brightness like my life so far. in every inner sight, i call forth heart prayer to live new and higher with God's almighty, to get rid of being disposable, not to tolerate dirt&mess&dispossession any more. Son of men and his glory under holy shine is due, from now on.
in these days&nights without Internet, i rested a lot, scrutinized my business pattern or moral. mayber its time to upgrade. sins once on my way toward holy hurt heavily, &that's partially why my web presence temporarily deprived for more than a week. but God, u see&u promises me, my domain shines even more in future. the world will see the most successful, the most invincible business is the way of Holy Spirit. God, grant me the cornerstone of the shrine of ur presence, grows my Royal on the earth like the forever harmony in Heaven, in ur title, under ur shine. God, bring me my girls in our prime time. 

17/12/2010

looking into freedom of bright, after trapped in separation from the web.^these days I waiting for my new office deponds on QRRS' official decision, after i filed dispute with the sinful gays in my old one. i enjoyed reading in scholar works or thsis on International politics, philosophy, etc. been separeted from Internet is painful, but God sees the best settlement for the interest of Royal of China, as well as my personal intelligence wakeup. this afternoon i reveiwed source, history&meaning of my web presence, see clear divine duty's call from the start, when i enjoyed sharing online of living experience, ever-evalueable moment in baby son, warrenzh's life stemming up from his infancy, for the sake of golden memory of the best beloved in the world to know. i see clear my way on the road of success, of fame, of forever green in timeless river of life. i see clear why the pastime of blogging turned into burning cry for God's bliss, for my girls' descending. i see clear the stimulas of China's pitfall, the struggle behind people in light of hope&peace.
Its a sunny Friday, i cherished my free time as usual, but great bliss from Heaven ahead, i assert. God, live me in forever happiness, lives my Royal of China sustainably right&bright. 

8/12/2010

a day ends in delight.^yesterday is for my second wife, Crowned Queen of China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. arrived in office early, soon in sunshine. but the sin in office, the monitor, continued to struggle on its door: closed door once i open it, kicked it to shown his dominating. i later roamed in the corridor to avoid the dirt. the facing sin also joined. when its sunny i called the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, about my urgent need to change an office. the office soon brewing in agitation about my appeal. when i busy with sorting my bookmarklet, the deputy director talked to me, soon the monitor stood against my desk to accuse. among the 2 sins' curses&threats, i left office in elation. God, grant me a new work place, for the dying old one now sinking into desert&noname. God, bring my girl Zhou sooner to me, bring my new family. in dawn i dreamed of raising a python at home. baby son appears in my dream.

7/12/2010

a day in hot water.^yesterday mainly posting a blog to include recent tweets, &mother's elapse. posting smoothly except myspace, which failed my logon many times. the sins in office attacked necklessly, the office door again been kicked&quite some evil ears on the floor watched up. i also saw lesbian among female colleagues among the staff, when i visited the neighbor room where there r 4 women. God all time accompanies me. when i joined the canteen, all troubles turns into warm smile.my 2nd elder sister called in just after i finished my dinner. this dawn dreamed of Holy message, upon tolerance&mightiness from Heaven, killing&suffering for the righteous. Its a crisp morning, but Sunshine already redden the horizon. God, bring me my girls, esp my Taiwan girl. bring me into my new family&fun of partnership.

From in deep winter 2010, &early beams of spring 2011

From in deep winter 2010, &early beams of spring 2011

From Baby's farewell party in QRRS kindergarten

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


26/1/2011

2 overnights online in visiting baby son.^this week God attests my sound body: i surfed 2 overnights, only slept 3 or 4 hours in the afternoon between. baby still haunted by regular boringness, &complained about his mom's obsession with online novels or games while let him lonely&aimlessly. when online in late night&dawn, i research my sites' SEO, haunting for games downloadable. i see clearer sky over my web presence, as my glorious ancestor grants. I also in these days felt unsettled about the feeling of my girls', esp. my 3rd wife girl Zhou, and 4th wife my Taiwan girl's. that more or less upset our gaming pleasure when baby joined me playing pc games. I also tried to persuade baby practising typing via a typing instructing software, but baby loathed to obey, partially want to bargain with me for more time accompany him in his mom's house, the only place now we can make full use of computers&Internet. last night he asked twice to combat with elastic paper rods with his mom, who still busy with her reading online. baby miserably told me he now only has his mom based, that let me even acide in heart, for I this moment didn't faciliated spare to care his living hand by hand routinely. but when i joined their combat game, performing a swordsman, baby greatly entertained&sweat after actions&screams. i kissed&woke him up in this early morning. he joined at once his favorite game, "angry birds", with setting unlocks all missions i just downloaded from web, with bearing concentration. when i prepared to leave and urged him to keep active&enjoy life, he told me he frequently felt tasteless. that let me sorry after i settled in QRRS dorm. so i buzzed his mom aiming to persuade her to attend baby more, but she rebuffed me as usual, till afternoon i got a coupon from QRRS which cheered her up a bit. when i buzzed in again after dinner, they dining out. God, u know this night i will settle in the dorm, where i more and more felt like my own workspace, protect baby any time with meaningful and interesting ideas&actions! bring the most beautiful things he deserves into his teenage, God, i entrust u! tomorrow will be day for my second wife, Crowned Queen of China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my dearest, my God, smooth baby's hard single heart with ur tenderest love&hospitality, my dearest, bring our family in harmony together sooner! 

24/1/2011

last snow before lunar Spring Festival 2011.^last weekend again in elation of God's seasonal gifts: i got a bonus of ¥900 from QRRS, my once&long time employer. visited baby soon after got the information from department cashier. i told baby's mom my assignment of financial support for the coming greatest festival on lunar calendar. baby's mom again sighed for unsatisfied upon the bulk. the Friday night i slept on baby's bedroom, where i more and more dislike comparing with my dorm. baby first time agreed to shower in public bathroom with me in Saturday afternoon. we basically had a nice shower, beside baby more or less shocked by men's flesh scene for he never joined public male bathroom before. except lagging download sometimes upset me, our gaming experience on pc can be exciting in the weekends, as usual. i had to research a game alone after returned to dorm to breakthrough the dead lock, &succeeded. my Taiwan girl those days restrained herself from me, likely warned by China surveillance against me. i also in the 2 days told baby more about the important moment now i chose sliding away from his mom's bad tempor&messy house, eager&closer to my new marriage which will brings us a solider niche for stable life experience, after so many years of drifting in dorm&impairment.
these days mostly sunny days. some casual snows never covered road. God, Asoh Yukiko keeps her promise to lighten my soul&eyes with sunshine. last night a shallow snow started to drift. this morning i saw the new gift from sky drove people cleaning, but still its not a pest but a gift. my Internet in dorm yet not ready, its a game to manifest bliss over me, man of Son that changes the world, at least Chinese. God, bring me my girls into our new houses, bring us harmony family life&fruitful&fertile. Asoh Yukiko, join me sooner, my second son, our first baby, urges to visit the world u shines. unite it via our blood bandage, including my girl Zhou, my Taiwan girl, my girl Lü, and who belongs to me pre-date. God, dad, grant me a dell game notebook, as my best cheerup for baby son in the lunar new year. 

21/1/2011

burning feeling for change.^last night Holy message informs coming bonus for lunar Spring Festival. when i refered my living support, again i got baby's mom's scorn. this morning i reviewed my situation, and the insane of baby's mother upon my tolerance on her keeping my financial account. long time i endured her bitchery and stupid shortsight, endured her insatiable self-posed by scorning others with her idiot's selfishness. this morning till after noon relentlessly, yarning for financial freedom, for my due glory&independent custody over baby, floats atop the dark relation in these years when I shared responsiblity with the stubborn stub for the sake of baby's healthy growth. its time to change, all the morning God lets me focus on the topic. i need steady workspace to lead out task from my dad, also from Heaven, while baby needs steady play&study ground for the training challenges during his tennage&youth. its time to change, for the dirty in his mother's family can't lead other but to sink&fell. its time to change for my new marriage that's the shiniest on the northern hemisphere on fatherland of China, on which my new Empire lives 1109 years ahead. its time for change for new lives in my Royal of China, my sons&daughters, ie. princes&princesses from holy preganance arriving.
Its a bright day so far. God, i looking forward to ur seasonal gifts, gifts for baby son, Hope of China, God of Universe, warrenzh, 朱楚甲. he needs a game desktop, as well as tablet&printer to digitalize his homeworks from now on, while i itching for taking over the most powerful computer I had now, an Acer notebook baby&his mom now using, to replace my current Hasee product which a bit outdated. God, i also need renew my registry over domain benzrad.us, which means my life online. God, let me free once and forever from debts (in fact i never owed more than ¥4000, usually total ¥2000 a year, to baby's mom, main costs r buying baby food when i felt he in low, or to gratify brave&rich under God's, but that bit caused tons of abuses usually in one aim to satisfy her ill self-importance.) to baby's mom, the sinful&greedy bitch, a born cheap soul. God, bring my girls in our new families sooner! bring my baby son in elations everyday, with his step mothers' warm hospitality. i'm sure all my girls will do in our new houses! for we all live under ur shine, in ur spirit, as u promised me! last but nonetheless, God, restore my improved workspace sooner! i love my new desk so much, bring me Internet to surf in light speed, pl!!! God, today literally means my union with baby son, warrenzh, owner of warozhu.com, but i so far staying here lonely. let my girls unbiasedly know that my sole wish is to make family with them, not the dead one since my divorce with baby's mom. reinforce all goodwill that adds beauties onto my Royal of China, God, u see, my dearest, u see, join me sooner for the unutterable! 

17/1/2011

dreamed of wonder again.^yesterday i returned to QRRS Dorms earlier again, after baby with his mom's companion joined his music lessson. i carried baby to bus stop, told him discreet to use arbitral claim when he claimed would never try muder/killing or other pc games on dark theme. i told him men's favorite changes in different phrases within his growth. my Taiwan girl in the weekends avoid to eye contacting me, changed her usual suite with school uniform. i knew China surveillance attempting trapping me with accuse of abnormal behavior or cult. they also attempted to seperatet me from my baby son as well as his mom, who more or less still accorded to help me on trifle life, like laundry (paid small amount by me), or store of my old clothings for free, housing us when i visit baby son&game. in the Sunday i turned less immersedly in pc games baby chose, for i wanted to be availabe for my Taiwan girl. baby tried means to attract me, but i just less patient to enjoy his making independent progess in his pc game together. reveiwing baby's cute loving sacrifices last night on bed, after baby shown low mood in our daily conversation via our mobiles, i was affirmed God's goodness again. how right&righteous baby always is!
this dawn i dreamed of sinful force. a traditional opera performance team fought against me&my Royal, likely including baby son in the dream, as they mimic the spirit of lion&tiger. its a lenghty dream, after i made water 3 times in the bright moon night. God, u see clear my girls approaching me closer, my new marriage stepping into my life weighted by the change God set forth upon me&my Royal that reshapes world atlas, in the new lunar year of 2011!. God, never allow me fail my girls nor my sons. bring us season gifts in the lunar Spring Festival ahead within a month! dad, God, refresh my holding memories of u, ur life on the earth throught which i saw the timeless&boundless. 

11/1/2011

burning month looking forward online life i had been deprived so long since office relocating.^this month really too slow to endue, without Internet. i know sins in China authority, and enemies of my 1109 years' Empire under title of God, hated to hear my voice from Holy casting online. i visited baby more frequent, sometimes just to avoid the boring in dorm in waiting for the new optical fibre cabled Internet, rumor has it that it will put into operation within a month, to arrive. baby enjoyed some new pc games, as expected. sometimes my scheduled visits broke for the holiday season brings unexpected break on baby&his mom's agenda. yesterday the conspire/devise/reckon among sinful minds against my web presence brewing in my mind as it occurs in China surveillance the moment. i had to pay attentions sympathetically to those accusations that i'm not rightful to adopt Internet offered by QRRS, my once long time employer&complying agent of China surveillance hidden over me years. in night i decided gaming with baby on pc more meaningful for the new moon. so i did, in the curse by baby's mom when i arrived. in chill in baby's room i restless in most dark time on bed, saw through the moral conflict between freedom world in title of YHWH, and that under constant threats&terrors, like Chinese tradition, Confucian, or Islamism. spying in neighbor rooms let me unconfortable, so i got up&kiss baby&woke him&his mom in pre-dawn. later i watched TV in dark, till bored&surfed Internet via lagging home adsl. my blog hosted on 163.com days found malfunctioning, and quite some other sites of mine inaccessible, no clue the isp blocking them, or China surveillance directly deployed the blacklist on continental routers. i managed to gain a small game from web till baby with his mom left for his kindergarten, then returned to QRRS' Dorms, a boring day ahead for the descending of Internet. God, bring me an adequate workspace, bring me my girls&new family! It likely snowing now, holy killing is right time to secure my works online as well as offline. God, Asoh Yukiko, secure my Royal of China, secure my love, secure my forever linkage with the Holy. God, dad, secure my baby son, Hope of China, God of Universe, u know.
Note on family album from baby's kindergarten party today:
baby's time in kindergarten so short as i felt. he previously joined a kindergarten near his mom's house, but soon the kindergarten ran out of service. so he join the kindergarten of my once employer, QRRS, an old style state-owned enterprise. his mom still reluctant to let me visit our baby son there almost for a year. i totally visited baby twice between. once i told baby to stick out to our lucky day ear by ear tearfully, for he just cried before joined his class, as he usually did, for he too active&unable get used to the compulsory noon nap there. the other time i was blocked by the guard from enter the building nor its yard, even can't get baby out to talk to, as a common phenomenon that legal persons, or in Chinese "单位" (work unit), suppress human individual's right. the only bottle of juice as my visit's present also detered&transfered to baby's mom when she fetching him over time, instead of delivering to baby immediate. his mom scheduled after this lunar Spring Festival of 2011 to let him join a pre-class near her work place, a junior middle school, also near her house. that's reasonable&undebateable. but still, how i missing months when my office hundreds meter from the QRRS kindergarten, where my best beloved baby son learning sociable, when i felt so rich in the world bestowed. God, forever unite the son&the dad, my baby&me, the proudest father, for nothing on the earth can compare to the purity and beautiful the love is in our hearts, u verify.

4/1/2011

temporary pleasure in want of web in companion with baby who in true complaicent with season gifts.^my web presence deterred for more than 3 weeks since i filed to apply for new office with QRRS, my once long time employer. these days i read some ebooks on my notebook in QRRS Dorms where i stayed as my temporary office. God brought gifts for baby son in time, the bliss so great that baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, kept giggling these days. i stayed 2 or 3 nights with him in his mom's house, celebrating year end, the gift season, while all the new year's day vacation i tried to play pc games with him in daytime, routed between dorm&his mom's house. i also enjoyed deepening love with my Taiwan girl. baby son now starts to talk to me proactively via his new mobile as season gift supported by bonus from QRRS, also from the saint source, while in the past he usually reluctant to talk to me on his mom's land phone when i call in. God, thx for ur love upon ur son.
this winter especially warm, even more&heavier snows descended. baby echos the same feeling upon the weather, even he stroke once or more by cold. so many occations i was enchanted by golden sunshine outside, on wall of houses, or street paves, or among branches of trees. i even eager for the coming marriage with my girl zhou, who activated my journey on web for fetching her again since our departure before we got familiar with each other, including each name. God, i didn't feed up by ur generous gifts, on the contrast, i look forward more surprises ahead. brings me my new families with my girls, unite my life with baby son, warrenzh, the Majesty&the Holy. thank u, God. 

22/12/2010

strength of praying in dark&solitude.^these days in QRRS Dorms slept a lot, in God's glorious arrangement. sometimes read ebook on success, which drives me to retrospect my passed dad, God vivid once in my life, and his successful life&business when he raised our family. i felt the eager to make my own different from the losers around me, including my once colleagues still lingered around, my baby's mom who humiliated me so lots. i see God's way so prevailing among people winning. i see the ultra trumph is living every moment with God, the source of life&happiness&success. i also have time to retouch pages, as well as layout of some web apps i distributed under my family domains. God sees how rewarding the task brings. in every blood pulse, i yelling for success, for meaningful, for grace&plenty, for not to continue living up with those losers&falling evils stretching out for brightness like my life so far. in every inner sight, i call forth heart prayer to live new and higher with God's almighty, to get rid of being disposable, not to tolerate dirt&mess&dispossession any more. Son of men and his glory under holy shine is due, from now on.
in these days&nights without Internet, i rested a lot, scrutinized my business pattern or moral. mayber its time to upgrade. sins once on my way toward holy hurt heavily, &that's partially why my web presence temporarily deprived for more than a week. but God, u see&u promises me, my domain shines even more in future. the world will see the most successful, the most invincible business is the way of Holy Spirit. God, grant me the cornerstone of the shrine of ur presence, grows my Royal on the earth like the forever harmony in Heaven, in ur title, under ur shine. God, bring me my girls in our prime time. 

17/12/2010

looking into freedom of bright, after trapped in separation from the web.^these days I waiting for my new office deponds on QRRS' official decision, after i filed dispute with the sinful gays in my old one. i enjoyed reading in scholar works or thsis on International politics, philosophy, etc. been separeted from Internet is painful, but God sees the best settlement for the interest of Royal of China, as well as my personal intelligence wakeup. this afternoon i reveiwed source, history&meaning of my web presence, see clear divine duty's call from the start, when i enjoyed sharing online of living experience, ever-evalueable moment in baby son, warrenzh's life stemming up from his infancy, for the sake of golden memory of the best beloved in the world to know. i see clear my way on the road of success, of fame, of forever green in timeless river of life. i see clear why the pastime of blogging turned into burning cry for God's bliss, for my girls' descending. i see clear the stimulas of China's pitfall, the struggle behind people in light of hope&peace.
Its a sunny Friday, i cherished my free time as usual, but great bliss from Heaven ahead, i assert. God, live me in forever happiness, lives my Royal of China sustainably right&bright. 

8/12/2010

a day ends in delight.^yesterday is for my second wife, Crowned Queen of China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. arrived in office early, soon in sunshine. but the sin in office, the monitor, continued to struggle on its door: closed door once i open it, kicked it to shown his dominating. i later roamed in the corridor to avoid the dirt. the facing sin also joined. when its sunny i called the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, about my urgent need to change an office. the office soon brewing in agitation about my appeal. when i busy with sorting my bookmarklet, the deputy director talked to me, soon the monitor stood against my desk to accuse. among the 2 sins' curses&threats, i left office in elation. God, grant me a new work place, for the dying old one now sinking into desert&noname. God, bring my girl Zhou sooner to me, bring my new family. in dawn i dreamed of raising a python at home. baby son appears in my dream.

7/12/2010

a day in hot water.^yesterday mainly posting a blog to include recent tweets, &mother's elapse. posting smoothly except myspace, which failed my logon many times. the sins in office attacked necklessly, the office door again been kicked&quite some evil ears on the floor watched up. i also saw lesbian among female colleagues among the staff, when i visited the neighbor room where there r 4 women. God all time accompanies me. when i joined the canteen, all troubles turns into warm smile.my 2nd elder sister called in just after i finished my dinner. this dawn dreamed of Holy message, upon tolerance&mightiness from Heaven, killing&suffering for the righteous. Its a crisp morning, but Sunshine already redden the horizon. God, bring me my girls, esp my Taiwan girl. bring me into my new family&fun of partnership.

From in deep winter 2010, &early beams of spring 2011

From in deep winter 2010, &early beams of spring 2011

From Baby's farewell party in QRRS kindergarten

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


10/2/2011

a restless night preparing baby son workspace online.^now its a sunny morning. i got up near 6am after woke up in the rest of elation in last night's operation. my task list queues longer since the office relocation. in the past greatest lunar Spring Festival, i broke my neck to look out Internet arriving my work place in QRRS Dorm, a niche exiling from the sinful office where paid criminals baked me with threats daily and profaned me for a long time, but in vain till yesterday, the 1st work week in lunar new year 2011. i buzzed the dorm's director, but reply was ambiguous, like all the contacts i made with the authority. i knew China surveillance making buffeting decision, and still in doubts upon its doomed failure. God, &my glorious ancestor since Ming Dynasty, already grants me my improved workspace. baby still in tour with his mom visiting her relatives in neighbor province, i sometimes ate poor food, like canned instant noodle, in the happiest time in Chinese memory in a year. on the day time seemed still, failed my many tries to kill it, like pc game, sorting disk, roaming, etc. its however, a bright sunny day. near the end of work time in QRRS, the mill of railway wagons, i decided to borrow my old&ditched office Internet for some hours. on routine jog, i figured out tasks urgent to accomplish in the operation before the close time of the office building. God helps me smoothly execute, in the near 3 hours in puffing rush. i claimed new namespace, wozon (http://www.flickr.com/people/wozon) and wozonow (http://wozonow.blog.163.com), for baby son's less important content account against China surveillance when he still greenhorn in the cyberspace. i also narrowly posted recent photos to picasaweb. even intended to post 2 written blogs in dark time of webless for more than 2 months, but time's limit curbed it. in dorm before went to bed near 10pm, i sorted bookmarks to catalog the loot in the light of holy. this dawn i continued bookmarking till see the brilliance outside. God, bring me my new life with my girls, spare me in my new&improved work space! 

6/2/2011

a cloudy day.^yesterday i buzzed too much hometown that got some hurts among my relatives there, as well as my brain by the cellphone. i reviewed my kid brother's fading marriage, his sinful intention to challenge my soveraign by stealth&covert, and not surprisingly the enemy of my new Empire of China that lives 1109 years ahead conspiring to tear my siblings apart, via seduction and cowardice both, on the weaker or pendinger among my old family members. my kid brother lived hard now, with hungry mouthes for feed, but he long time had a tendency for violence&rapacity. he was mainly educated by my dark mother, who left the world last year, and these years brewing failure&hatred upon my unbeatable authentic under shine of my passed dad, God, alone. my kid brother felt he can make a living by robbing me. he just bland upon the sainity of the Royal of China, the forever untouchable glory of the Son, for he is blunt unholy now. i tried to elaborate my anxious with my 2 elder sisters, whom the brother just visiting for traditionaly Chinese custom, but i narrowly failed myself, for the sin evaded my description the moment. on bed after washed my feet, it turns clear, and i prayed our dad, God, to grant me freedom to act capable anytime anyway. praying God to see through&lead over the direct conflict between my kid brother&me against enemy of my Empire sieged us, the sore mud&hot water their virus hidden sown. praying God brings space&freedom into my kid brother's heart&business, deceases burning imprudicity&arrogancy stemmed from failure or hurt inside, let him support his family independently and respectably graciously. God, my Royal of China, as well as the holy land in ur title, forever untouchablely saint&beautiful&unmistakably legitimate. bring my girls so sweat&cordial to me in our prime time for the coming Empire of China! God, shift me into my improved workspace as u promised, lightn the world by my gospel here from ur Spirit.

2/2/2011

new lunar year of 2011, starter of new progress from old oath&commitment.^this Spring festival is the most enduring holiday i felt so lonely. baby's mom kept uncoorperative to bargain me for her interest in our ended marriage. baby first time visited my new dorm after last Spring festival visit when my dorm assigned on the 2nd floor in the same building. with 2 small cabins, a computer desktop, my new office attracked baby's likeness. we gamed on notebook, and one Japanese game extraordinarily immersed him. i carried him haunted twice a seasonal open-air market for crackers, once after lunched nearby economically. he greatly enjoyed those crackers when we fired them together on the ground. he also received quite some praises from working staff in the QRRS Dorms on his smartness&charisma. we bought a cake on way returning to his mom's house in sunset. its a bathing piglet theme&we accompanied the full process it molded&painted by a beautiful girl in the cakeshop. we enjoyed it in the night, while his mom especially in the present summoned to shot photos. the night baby insisted we slept on one bed in his mom's bedroom. baby laid his leg on my belly crossing 2 quilts, one in which i slept alone. i slept lately but sound. his mom arranged to spend the eve of Spring Festival in her mother's house, so we departed in morning, &reunited around 2 am to dine together rich the grandma prepared. in the case i talked a lot with her step-father, whose intimacy with the family quite gappy after his failures in his career not only bankrupted his state-owned company when he in charge, but also his private investments, in my view. baby quite glad&listend my talks aside patiently. we gamed&created new records in pc games after dinner, after found the young uncle self-defeated&refused to help us break each hard mission in 2 games as we previously expected from his game expertise. i walked to dorm in dusk, stayed till time to watch CCTV Spring Festival party live. a male dropped in when i alone watching in the neighbor dorm's TV room, challenged several times but none succeeded&quit finally. i received a call from hometown, in which i encouraged my kid brother's wife to endure her hard time when their marriage besieged by the husband's new female partner in his business in Guangdong, southern China. i left the TV till the end of the party, with stronger faith in my bond with my girl Zhou, as well as my Royal&family duty over China in next millennium. its a sunny festival, but my hope for my new life, my new family with my girls, even brighter. God, help me step forward firm&in ur bliss. this is my prayer on first day in lunar new year 2011. 



From Lunar Spring Festival 2011
From Lunar Spring Festival 2011

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


a day ends in delight.^yesterday is for my second wife, Crowned Queen of China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. arrived in office early, soon in sunshine. but the sin in office, the monitor, continued to struggle on its door: closed door once i open it, kicked it to shown his dominating. i later roamed in the corridor to avoid the dirt. the facing sin also joined. when its sunny i called the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, about my urgent need to change an office. the office soon brewing in agitation about my appeal. when i busy with sorting my bookmarklet, the deputy director talked to me, soon the monitor stood against my desk to accuse. among the 2 sins' curses&threats, i left office in elation. God, grant me a new work place, for the dying old one now sinking into desert&noname. God, bring my girl Zhou sooner to me, bring my new family. in dawn i dreamed of raising a python at home. baby son appears in my dream.

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


a day ends in delight.^yesterday is for my second wife, Crowned Queen of China from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. arrived in office early, soon in sunshine. but the sin in office, the monitor, continued to struggle on its door: closed door once i open it, kicked it to shown his dominating. i later roamed in the corridor to avoid the dirt. the facing sin also joined. when its sunny i called the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, about my urgent need to change an office. the office soon brewing in agitation about my appeal. when i busy with sorting my bookmarklet, the deputy director talked to me, soon the monitor stood against my desk to accuse. among the 2 sins' curses&threats, i left office in elation. God, grant me a new work place, for the dying old one now sinking into desert&noname. God, bring my girl Zhou sooner to me, bring my new family. in dawn i dreamed of raising a python at home. baby son appears in my dream.

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉


a day barked by wild dog in office.

a day in hot water.^yesterday mainly posting a blog to include recent tweets, &mother's elapse. posting smoothly except myspace, which failed my logon many times. the sins in office attacked necklessly, the office door again been kicked&quite some evil ears on the floor watched up. i also saw lesbian among female colleagues among the staff, when i visited the neighbor room where there r 4 women. God all time accompanies me. when i joined the canteen, all troubles turns into warm smile.my 2nd elder sister called in just after i finished my dinner. this dawn dreamed of Holy message, upon tolerance&mightiness from Heaven, killing&suffering for the righteous. Its a crisp morning, but Sunshine already redden the horizon. God, bring me my girls, esp my Taiwan girl. bring me into my new family&fun of partnership.

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉